SO COLLEGE

when smart kids say dumb shit

Sunday, January 29, 2006

guys only want one...good conversation

upon approaching 3 girls at a party

boy: so what are your names?
3 girls: [answer]
boy: where are you from?
3 girls: [answer]
boy: how do you all know each other?
3 girls: [discuss amongst themselves their connections]
boy: oh fuck this shit

anger management 101

girl: god, sometimes i wish i could just kick a little kid. you know, when they come up to about knee height. kabam! anyone?

Thursday, January 26, 2006

irony is totally the new stay at home dad

(while mopping the floor)

boy: look, i dont appease people. i WILL NOT demasculate myself within an inch of my life.

but do the herpes have syphilis?

girl: you're going to be sleeping with bugs and herpes. whatever, its going to be cheap.

amen.

dude: go forth and have a meaningful day.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

geography major?

girl 1: do any girls even dip?
girl 2: he said it's a more sweet tasting Swedish dip. so i guess it's popular with a lot of girls in Switzerland.

Monday, January 23, 2006

ay carumba

08 boy: if you didn't know he was gay before, just listen to him speak spanish

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Pearls of 09 wisdom

Cames Jaballero: stupid fucking broads

Intrests: Having a quality time
Favorite Quote: "I don't give a fuck if there's police out there/I don't give a fuck if it's snowing/I just need you out there hoeing"

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Balanced Diet

07 girl: so when i'm at dartmouth, i binge on the sandwich, chips, pickle, fro-yo deal. but when i'm home, i totally stick to mustard.

good night good luck

girl: we used to makeout with pillows...but we never performed oral sex on them

Monday, January 16, 2006

Fat lip

girl: it's campus news that she's the make out bandit biter

Get out much?

girl 1: was she foreign?
girl 2: no, she was blonde

Yayo for Rush

concerning Kappa initiation

new pledge: i bet my big sister will just make me do 5 lines and run around in my underwear

What a cut of meat from the thigh of a hog

turning to the guy next in line

girl in FC: excuse me, what's ham?

Atrophied Muscle Car

Guy (looking at newspaper): Is that a Camaro? It's so ugly.
Girl: That's a Buick.

Friday, January 13, 2006

originality sin

(as pitched to the d)

heff sterbert: so i have this fantastic idea where i record what i overhear awk randos say heehee YAY!

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

stick with drugs

boy: there are those friends that you hug...and then those that you hug LONGER

Reality TV

08 rocker: so i bought a tv the other day. i figured it'd help me get a boyfriend.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

sleeping your way to the top?

08 kappa: yea so like I think it would be totally great to be like PRESIDENT
girl: i didnt know you were into politics
08 kappa: No haha! like of Kappa!

Friday, January 06, 2006

b-side

(upon staring at the oddly shorn tree)

guy 1: i dont get what happened to the christmas tree
guy 2: yea dude, its a total hanukkah bush