SO COLLEGE

when smart kids say dumb shit

Friday, June 10, 2005

summer lovin

overheard is officially on break.
unless of course people are interested in the random things my dad says on his conference calls.

"well what jack said to martin is not what he said to you...its a blatent lie...oh jeez...the real question is that whether or not they have a particular person assigned to each task...wow"

and on that note
see you in september!

Monday, June 06, 2005

Truly the Saddest Songs of Our Time

Girl: Ace of Base makes me cry.

child, lets be fair...

(in defense of his grim hookup history)

Guy: you know how most people have like beer goggles? well i have like..like...beer BLINDERS!

actually youre just a vagina

Guy 1: dude she has a hot body
Guy 2: nah...i dont know... im more of a face kind of guy
Guy 1: ok
Guy 2: except for when im drunk, then im just a vagina guy

College Student Truth

Girl: Life smells.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

and shes got SASS

girl 1: i have that same skirt!
girl:2: no youve got STYLE.

since we live in the real world...

08 girl: so yea, then out of the blue he invited me to play pong and i guess he just really meant having sex...

we ought to have known...

08 girl: (looking at iTunes play counts) Dude, I only listened to "You Oughta Know" 183 times on loop last weekend.
friend: (doing calculations) ummmm, if it's about a 4 minute song, doesn't that mean that you listened to it for over 12 hours?
08 girl: Oh. yeah. I guess that's about right.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

double your trouble...

girl 1: man you have DRAMA
girl 2 no its just me being a two timing floozy

Hooking Up 101 for '08 Guys

Girl: I don't get how that kid gets girls.

Guy: He gets really, really drunk girls.

The Dartmouth Mindset

Guy 1: It's os hard to study in this hot weather. It feels like I'm on vacation.

Guy 2: You are on vacation. You're on a four year vacation in the woods of New Hampshire where we get drunk all the time.

Pitch In!... or not

So, one of the trash bins on the Collis porch is taller than the swinging door you're supposed to put the trash through, causing the door to hit the bin inside so it can't open. It's pretty amusing to watch students repeatedly push their plastic containers and paper cups into the "Thank You" flap that won't budge.

Someone For Everyone

Guy: He's kind of hot...

Girl: He is?

Guy: Yeah... in that Nordie-type of way.

when the cup is half full...youve had enough

Girl: FUCK, i gained 20 pounds this year
Guy: thats pretty good. most girls can only gain like 15

Friday, June 03, 2005

and they thought it was a pink eye epidemic...

Guy: dude, you look really tired.
Guy 2: yeah i got like 2 hours of sleep maybe.
Guy: your eyes are like really red.
Guy 2: yea i've been rubbing them in cocaine

dartmouth's esteemed honor principle

(about studying econ)

Girl: You know there comes a time when you just hope you know it...or make sure you sit next to someone who does.

Cutting Back on Fats, Carbs, and Fetuses

Guy: Did you lose weight or something?

Girl: Yeah, well, I decided to get the abortion.

Oh, America's Dairyland...

Girl from Wisconsin: Everyone is just kinda fat and everyone is just kinda happy.

Artificial Insemination... Dartmouth Style

Girl 1 (on having a hot tub at Dartmouth): It would just be a jizzpot. You would get in and immediately give birth.

A True Champ

Girl 1(about compulsively changing her pillow case): I just can't stand having my face next to anything that hasn't been cleaned for several hours.

Girl 2: How do you give head?

Girl 1: I can suck it up.

congratufuckinlations

so its spring time at dartmouth and clearly animal magnetism is running high.
one happy couple just took the big leap this morning when some overly romantic tool dragged his sweetheart up moosilauke and proposed to her at sunrise.
clearly an engagement at sea level is too much of a cliche.

frankly i think i would have enjoyed the exata zzzs and slept in.

True Film Buff

(While watching American Beauty)

Guy: Why are you guys watching this? It's so depressing.

Girl: No, it's great. It resonates.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Is Brine a Good Electricity Conductor?

Guy (to girl eating a pickle): Did you just drip pickle juice on my power source?

drop it like its hot.

Girl 1: "i don't have any summer clothes"
Girl 2: "we're only going to be here like 2 more days. do you mean you don't have summer clothes here or at home?"
Girl 1: "i don't think i have summer clothes at home either"
Girl 2: ....
Girl 1: "see, the thing is, i don't wear clothes in the summer that much"

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Does EBA's Have That?

(On going out and getting laid)

Girl: Sometimes I wish I could just order in.

Yeah, I'm sure that's the reason...

07 Kappa: I think God's trying to punish me. I mean, I've never had a boyfriend in my entire life... and my standards are LOW.

Caught With Their...

The scene: a guy and girl are in in the Bema. Belt buckles and sexual noises are heard. Another guy and girl are also in the Bema, fully clothed, sitting apart from each other. An S&S car drives up, headlights on, revealing both pairs. The officer gets out of the car and goes directly to the guy and girl who were clearly fooling around.

S&S Officer: Do you really want to know why I asked you guys for ID and not them? I mean, I could get descriptive if you want...